May you be well!
May begins an important month of awareness building and educating in the mental health field. May is not only Mental Health Awareness Month, but also a month of awareness focused on underserved subgroups within our field, such as children's mental health, maternal mental health. Asian American/Pacific Islander Heritage month is also celebrated in May. The intersection this awareness-building feels like a call to action, as it clearly reflects the intersection of my professional and personal interests.
Regardless of the age or stage, a common issue presented in Asian American immigrant families in therapy is the need for belonging, acceptance, and connection. Belonging and acceptance within the family system and within the larger community. Belonging and acceptance is a need whether you are a new mom overwhelmed with the demands of a newborn baby and the subsequent transition in your identity; or an adolescent overwhelmed with the demands of school, friends, immigrant parents, racial identity and a sense of self; or cross-cultural parents overwhelmed with a duty to protect and provide for their children in a new culture, a culture so different from your own childhood. Here are a few ideas that will be explored in therapy sessions to help you move through these major life transitions:
Family relationships- check in with your family members, look at the communication styles and patterns, notice if all members of the family feel heard and understood, use "I statements", and ask directly for what you need, avoid making assumptions, and allow for healthy boundaries within family relationships, understand children and especially adolescents will need personal space, but closeness is always important, just be sure to verbalize which is needed in the moment.
Emotions- observe any patterns in emotions and feelings, try not to judge your own or your child's emotions, simply notice and remain curious about a feeling. Often our feelings tell us we need something to be different, so stay open and aware to the possibilities of our emotions telling us we need a change. Try not to assume how another is feeling, instead use your communication skills to ask, then empathize since we all feel a variety of emotions regardless of circumstances. accept that other's feel emotions based on their experience and perceptions. This experience of empathy and acceptance results in a healthy connection and a reduction in intense emotions.
Boundaries- A healthy boundary is the concept of creating an understanding of your needs for closeness and separateness within your relationships. Boundaries will be forever changing as you grow and your needs change, along with the needs of your family and children. Having an open dialogue about boundaries can be an important experience for your family. Boundaries look like giving yourself permission to say no or setting limits. Developing boundaries in our loving relationships can feel uncomfortable, but simultaneously allows for calm closeness.
Self care-- Self care is the concept of taking care of your needs, taking responsibility for your needs, and being able to ask for what you need. Emotional and physical wellness comes from within and not another person, adjusting your expectations can be helpful. Self care looks like putting yourself first when you feel overwhelmed and resentful. Healthy self-care can look like balanced nutrition, enjoyable exercise, restorative sleep, and basic hygiene. Self-care can also include time for socializing, artistic expression, intimacy, music, dance, and sports. As I always say, self care is the act of following your flight attendant's instructions: "put your air mask on first before attempting to help those around you," without your own air mask, you are useless to others!
I look forward to sharing more this month on the topic of Asian American Mental Health Awareness. Be Well!
Regardless of the age or stage, a common issue presented in Asian American immigrant families in therapy is the need for belonging, acceptance, and connection. Belonging and acceptance within the family system and within the larger community. Belonging and acceptance is a need whether you are a new mom overwhelmed with the demands of a newborn baby and the subsequent transition in your identity; or an adolescent overwhelmed with the demands of school, friends, immigrant parents, racial identity and a sense of self; or cross-cultural parents overwhelmed with a duty to protect and provide for their children in a new culture, a culture so different from your own childhood. Here are a few ideas that will be explored in therapy sessions to help you move through these major life transitions:
Family relationships- check in with your family members, look at the communication styles and patterns, notice if all members of the family feel heard and understood, use "I statements", and ask directly for what you need, avoid making assumptions, and allow for healthy boundaries within family relationships, understand children and especially adolescents will need personal space, but closeness is always important, just be sure to verbalize which is needed in the moment.
Emotions- observe any patterns in emotions and feelings, try not to judge your own or your child's emotions, simply notice and remain curious about a feeling. Often our feelings tell us we need something to be different, so stay open and aware to the possibilities of our emotions telling us we need a change. Try not to assume how another is feeling, instead use your communication skills to ask, then empathize since we all feel a variety of emotions regardless of circumstances. accept that other's feel emotions based on their experience and perceptions. This experience of empathy and acceptance results in a healthy connection and a reduction in intense emotions.
Boundaries- A healthy boundary is the concept of creating an understanding of your needs for closeness and separateness within your relationships. Boundaries will be forever changing as you grow and your needs change, along with the needs of your family and children. Having an open dialogue about boundaries can be an important experience for your family. Boundaries look like giving yourself permission to say no or setting limits. Developing boundaries in our loving relationships can feel uncomfortable, but simultaneously allows for calm closeness.
Self care-- Self care is the concept of taking care of your needs, taking responsibility for your needs, and being able to ask for what you need. Emotional and physical wellness comes from within and not another person, adjusting your expectations can be helpful. Self care looks like putting yourself first when you feel overwhelmed and resentful. Healthy self-care can look like balanced nutrition, enjoyable exercise, restorative sleep, and basic hygiene. Self-care can also include time for socializing, artistic expression, intimacy, music, dance, and sports. As I always say, self care is the act of following your flight attendant's instructions: "put your air mask on first before attempting to help those around you," without your own air mask, you are useless to others!
I look forward to sharing more this month on the topic of Asian American Mental Health Awareness. Be Well!
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