Living and Learning
We live. We love. We lose.
And somewhere in between, we learn. We learn to lose. We learn to love. We learn to live.
Grieving as the child of immigrants was a unique experience in some ways. We grieve deaths from the other side of the globe, unable to say goodbye to the deceased, attend services, and perform rituals meant to help us heal collectively. Grieving a family relative we rarely saw, barely knew, but still experienced a deep sense of loss to the family unit.
Immigration itself is a journey in learning to cope with loss and isolation. When leaving behind a country of origin, an immigrant grieves the loss of connection, identity, belonging, trust, safety and security. And learns to grieve, cope, and accept in their new land.
Recently I have lost three women who were meaningful to my life. One woman, a friend and colleague, inspired me with her work as a dedicated child trauma therapist and her love for nature and family, I was inspired by her peacefulness. One young mother inspired me with her passion for writing and commitment to getting her work published, I was inspired by her confidence. And most recently, an aunt who trailblazed a bumpy road of inter-racial/inter-faith marriage in my traditional family, I was inspired by their commitment to love in the face of rigidity, a unique struggle also experienced in my own inter-racial/inter-faith marriage. Each of those women and mothers had an impact on my life, and I am grateful for their inspiration.
Following the sadness, pain, isolation, and shock of losing, I find myself in stillness. A place where I search for a sign. A message. My perspective is changed. Perspective on life. On love. On loss. I search for purpose, I search for inspiration in those lost lives. I search for the lessons they would want us to learn. I search for the meaning in those lessons.
The pain of loss remains. But something changes. We learn something.
I learn to live when I lose. To truly live. In the moment, in the present. I learn to breathe and notice beauty. I learn to connect with Earth, nature, and my spiritual being.
And learn to focus on those I love.
Because they are why I live.
And somewhere in between, we learn. We learn to lose. We learn to love. We learn to live.
Grieving as the child of immigrants was a unique experience in some ways. We grieve deaths from the other side of the globe, unable to say goodbye to the deceased, attend services, and perform rituals meant to help us heal collectively. Grieving a family relative we rarely saw, barely knew, but still experienced a deep sense of loss to the family unit.
Immigration itself is a journey in learning to cope with loss and isolation. When leaving behind a country of origin, an immigrant grieves the loss of connection, identity, belonging, trust, safety and security. And learns to grieve, cope, and accept in their new land.
Recently I have lost three women who were meaningful to my life. One woman, a friend and colleague, inspired me with her work as a dedicated child trauma therapist and her love for nature and family, I was inspired by her peacefulness. One young mother inspired me with her passion for writing and commitment to getting her work published, I was inspired by her confidence. And most recently, an aunt who trailblazed a bumpy road of inter-racial/inter-faith marriage in my traditional family, I was inspired by their commitment to love in the face of rigidity, a unique struggle also experienced in my own inter-racial/inter-faith marriage. Each of those women and mothers had an impact on my life, and I am grateful for their inspiration.
Following the sadness, pain, isolation, and shock of losing, I find myself in stillness. A place where I search for a sign. A message. My perspective is changed. Perspective on life. On love. On loss. I search for purpose, I search for inspiration in those lost lives. I search for the lessons they would want us to learn. I search for the meaning in those lessons.
The pain of loss remains. But something changes. We learn something.
I learn to live when I lose. To truly live. In the moment, in the present. I learn to breathe and notice beauty. I learn to connect with Earth, nature, and my spiritual being.
And learn to focus on those I love.
Because they are why I live.
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