American Born Courageous Desi

Autumn is my favorite season. The crunchy leaves and crisp cool air refresh my mind and body after a long, humid summer. I run through a beautiful trail enjoying the trees, the silence, only hearing the sounds of the flowing creek. This is a meaningful place of peace that I run through often. But today, I come to a stop, I am taken by the beauty of nature. Natural beauty in an untouched space. Among the various shades of greens and browns that spread for miles in all directions sits a bright yellow flower. A single stem. Shining yellow. In a vast green forest. I am surprised, then amazed, then inspired. Inspired to write. Why do I write? Why this blog? Why this title? Why now? I have asked myself the same questions. Writing is personal, writing is raw, writing is vulnerable, writing feels scary. But writing is a challenge, a challenge to be authentic, to be human, a challenge to sit with vulnerability, to challenge my fears, my doubts, my nagging thoughts of "what will people th...

I believe in healing. I believe humans possess an ability to heal. To heal the heart and to heal the soul. I believe they have the courage to heal. The courage to survive. But I also believe humans suffer. Life is painful so therefore we suffer. Some suffer briefly. Some suffer longer. Some suffer through generations. I am certain we all suffer. As a therapist, I witness suffering. It is then that I am also witness to courage. To the struggle to survive. But how do we heal our suffering? How has suffering impacted, or even shaped, your beliefs, thoughts, mood, reactions, and connections? And how do we heal when our suffering leads us to feel helpless or fearful? Fear, our brain’s attempt to survive perceived threat, when overwhelmed, can prolong our suffering and inhibit our healing process. I believe we are a world in need of healing. In need of connection. But how do we move towards healing and connection while overwhelmed with fears and perceived threats? Mindfulness is o...

It’s early afternoon on a rainy weekday, little one is napping (hopefully!) and big one is laying on the couch in cozy pajamas for a third day in a row. This sounds like a lovely scene taken straight from the motherhood book of fantasies, however one major exception: big one is sick…again. Life as a mother of a child with a chronic health issue has been exhausting. And unpredictable. My son is now almost six years old, so we’ve had many years to adjust to this life of unpredictability. Six years ago, I had a difficult health condition during my first son’s pregnancy, therefore his labor and delivery became very complicated and traumatic. He was born with mild medical needs from day one. We struggled with stabilizing his health in those first months, as I silently fought hard against postpartum depression. We thought his health was stabilizing, but by month four, he was diagnosed with a serious illness that changed the course of his life. For the next two years, my son and I wo...

Reading the morning news is a daily ritual of mine, but lately it has become a love-hate relationship of sorts. My alarm rings, I press snooze one too many times, and in an attempt to lay under my warm blankets just a few moments longer, I reach for my smartphone. I scroll through the news, emails, weather, and whatever else I can think of to delay getting out of bed and jumping into my fast-paced, non-stop responsibilities as a working mom. My morning ritual of reading the news comes with consequences, aside from just losing a few extra minutes to enjoy my breakfast sandwich. The consequences have been the overwhelming emotional reactions I experience before my day has truly begun. Depending on the story, I may enjoy a sense of pride, excitement, and relief. But those moments of "comfortable emotions" have unfortunately been occurring less in recent months. More often than not, I have been feeling inundated with the “uncomfortable emotions” of frustration, confusion, worry...

Close your eyes... take a deep breath... and try to remember the last time you believed you truly belonged... a time when you knew you fit in, and felt accepted, just as you are. Were you with someone? A parent, grandparent, caregiver, sibling, cousin, friend, teacher, minister, therapist, or beloved pet? Where were you? In a favorite place? Your home, your car, yoga class, the beach, the mountains? Does this exercise bring a smile to your face? A sense of warmth, comfort, and security throughout your body? Or do you find yourself in tears, experiencing pain and hopelessness? This is a guided meditation I use in therapeutic workshops to create awareness of our human need for belonging and connection. Tara Brach, an author, therapist and meditation teacher, often discusses the distressful experience of severed belonging, when one perceives a loss in acceptance and connection to others. Belonging, acceptance, and connection are some of our most basic human psychological needs acco...

The time is 5:07 pm, we have exactly 23 minutes to get the kids dressed, walk out the door, and arrive at my older son’s school PTA international night. I volunteered to provide an Indian dish for the Asia table at the food festival portion of the evening. Just an hour earlier I had been making a sloppy mess in the kitchen while experimenting with ingredients. I eventually turned that mess into my version of Mango Lassi to contribute to the event, and I’m still unsure if those lassis were edible since none of us actually stepped up to be taste tester at home. As for attire, I figured I would show up to international night in my weekend uniform of yoga pants and a sweatshirt, I mean, weren’t we representing India, the birthplace of yoga, after all?!? I realized this wouldn’t fly at all when my 5 year-old son announced he had different plans for the entire family- he asked us all to go upstairs and change into clothes from India. We obliged him with a smile on our face...